ПОЛОСАТЫЙ РЕЙС (советский фильм комедия)

The Leningrad Order of Lenin Film Studio
Lenfilm presents The Striped Voyage A comical film experience Screenplay:
Aleksei Kapler, Viktor Konetskii Director: V. Fetin Cinematography
D. Meskhiev Art Director: A. Rudyankov
Assistant Director: L. Makhtin Composer: V. Basner
Sound Engineer: A. Shargorodskii Camera operator- D. Dolinin
Script Editor- S. Ponomapenko Film Editor: Ye. Orlova Special Effects:
Design: M. Kandat, Camera work: B. Dubov The Leningrad State Philharmonic
Conducted by N. Rabinovich Production Manager: V. Besprozbannii Production Design: G. M. Kozintsyev Starring: Captain: Aleksei Gribov
First Mate: Ivan Dmitriyev Marianna: Margarita Nazarova
Shuleikin: Yevgeni Leonov Boatswain: Vladimir Belokurov
Agent: N. Volkov Animal Tamer: A. Beniaminov Cook: A. Trusov
Motya: V. Sirin Knysh: A. Smirnov
Radio Operator: A. Kojevnikov Extras:
P. Alyabin, V. Gravye
O. Jukov, G. Lojkin
L. Prokopenko, A. Rudin A. Susnin, N. Trofimov
V. Turkin, A. Freindlikh
V. Khozin, O. Khromenkov Animal Trainer for the Monkey
from the Kiev Zoo: Pavel Babich English Subtitles by: Alexander Isakov
with assistance from Ann Weiler Hello.
Hello, comrades. To the kitchen staff from the fleet. Thank you. – The fear of beasts.
– Thank you. – The tamer.
– Greetings. – Seaman’s salute.
– Lecturer. – Hello!
– Boatswain, boatswain, candy. Well, alright. He really looks like me. Oh man, look. Philip Savelievich, …how do they know you, these sailors? Who doesn’t know Shuleykin?! – Well, where did you meet them?
– In a tropical port, on the equator. Ooooh, oh! Can you tell me about it? Believe me, …or don’t believe me, …but it happened… …like this… Ah, finally! – Hello.
– Hello. – Shuleykin. – Nice to meet you!
– Nice to meet you! Well, soon you will be back in your homeland,
Comrade Shuleykin. You know, I see Odessa in my dreams. Oh, Odessa-Odessa! – You will accept the cargo right on board.
– OK. – Here is the paperwork.
– Thank you. – And now let’s go onto the ship.
– OK. You’ve kept me waiting, friend. There was an unexpected call at night.
I wasn’t prepared, ran around! If only, so to speak, I could…
What happiness, huh! Can you tell me, please, what
happened with your cargo supervisor? – Malaria.
– Oh, Malaria! Can you tell me, what sort of cargo
do I have to oversee? – If it’s not a secret, of course.
– Tigers. – Oh, tigers! Is that the name of a company? What company?!
A pair of lions, ten tigers. What do you mean, lions? – Are you serious?
– What’s wrong? – I am totally unacquainted with
this type of business.
– Then acquaint yourself. The key is – don’t blab anything extra,
and everything will be fine. Listen, but I want to live. So live to your heart’s content. – No, I can’t!
– What can’t you do? What, you want to stay here for five
more months until the next ship?! No, I can’t!
What do you mean!? I just can’t! Do you think I’m a newborn?!
Take the documents! No! No means no!
Here is your paperwork. – Please follow me!
– No no no no! Please sit! – Please follow me!
– Please sit! What right do you have? – I’m not trying to force you.
– I forbid you from giving them orders! I forbid you from trying to convince me! It’s ok, it’s ok. – Hold on!
– Well? – Hold on!
– What?! – I’m afraid that something bad might happen.
– Nothing bad will happen. Just don’t get involved.
I will make all the arrangements myself. – Yeah?!
– Yeah! – Listen!
– Well? – I would like…
– Don’t worry! Calmly, calmly. The cargo is here, captain.
We can accept it. Ahhh, very good! Honestly, I was thinking that
we would sail for home without a full cargo. – What’s the cargo?
– For the deck. Needs 12 spots. Aha. But still, what sort of cargo is it? – So, 12 spots you say?!
– Yep, 12 spots. Aha. Come on, come on! One! And two! First mate! What is this? Sorry! Now he’ll tell me: “I’d ask you to not distract
the crew during work”. I’d ask you to not distract
the crew during work. I’m giving you a warning. – So, we’re getting ready to load?
– Yes yes, of course. Good! What is on your head? Just a regular hairstyle. And the headscarf is called
“I’m my mom’s little fool”. Why? It’s too bad that the name
suits the wearer. Take off that horrible
thing immediately! – You know what!..
– Comrade buffet-lady, …If you like wearing… …a mop on your head – then wear it.
Just not during working hours. – I!..
– And no sass. I’m not being sassy yet! I can tell by your face
that you’re being sassy. What, you can see with
the back of your head, huh? Comrade buffet-lady,
stop sassing me. – But I’m not sassing you yet!
– And I say, you are sassing me! – Am not!
– Silence! Oleg Petrovich, please.
The loading is about to start. – Take a look.
– OK. My sister asked me to take you
on this trip. I thought the sea would make
a real person out of you. – But I…
– And even… …find something to do seriously. I’m tired of everything! Your sea is annoying
And your ship is annoying …And your Oleg Petrovich is annoying! Oleg Petrovich is strict,
but fair. He adheres to all the regulations. He nags me. He doesn’t pay any attention to me. There, you’re contradicting yourself. I’m asking you,
stop fighting with him. End this foolish war between yourself
and the first mate And let there be peace and quiet on board. What’s that? Who allowed this? – Oh!
– What’s wrong, Maryushka!? Raise it up! What, what are you staring at?! Never seen a tiger before?! What if they figure out that I am not a tamer,
but a kitchen worker? You asked to replace the sick
supervisor yourself. I asked, I asked because I can’t
stand their climate. I melt like a candle. These animals are bought and paid for, I can’t keep them here anymore. The trade representative won’t let me. They burn through all the money. They eat a horse a day, on
foreign currency. And in addition, each tiger
costs 40 thousand in gold. Is that a joke?! Stop spinning! God knows! I worked in the quiet, peaceful
trade representatives buffet hall. The most I dealt with animals …was cutting “Lyubitelskuya” sausage.
And all of a sudden there you are! Lions. Tigers. – You’ve set me up, comrades.
– What’s wrong?! If I had known what the cargo was Don’t worry, captain. What do you mean, “don’t worry, don’t worry”. Once, we were transporting giraffes from Hamburg. – And?
– And suddenly one got a neck sore. – Sore? What do you mean, sore?!
– Yes, sore, why are you laughing? Scandal!
We’re still doing paperwork. Don’t worry! Our animals won’t get
sore necks. – Pleasant voyage, captain.
– Goodbye. Here, meet comrade Shuleykin. A very experienced tamer. Hunter. Always works alone. He will accompany the cargo,
and feed the animals. Pleased to meet you. You have a heroic job. It’ll be calmer with you around. Don’t worry about worrying. This way! Oh, this place will do. Please, leave the bag right here
and you may go home. All right. Our company is happy to have
you among our clients. …and awards you with this small present. And what is this? He says that this is like a bonus… …to the customer from the company. – Goodbye, sir.
– Goodbye. – Goodbye.
– Goodbye. – What’s in the bag?
– God knows. I don’t know myself. Hold on, …where’s the bag? Who knows! Well it couldn’t have walked
away on its own!? – Eh?!
– Of course it couldn’t! Ah! Ahhhh! What’s wrong, Marinochka,
did you take me for a tiger?! What tiger!
I just saw something so…! So …round and walking by itself! – Round?!
– Yeah! Keep lying! [Tigers growling] One hundred fourty seven and three. Whatever, they’ll eat it anyway! “Super”. Let’s see what this animal vitamin is. Ptooey, ptooey. Ptooey. How disgusting! Eh! Get back! Hey, listen, get back! Give it back! Be a good person!
Give it back! Ah, darn thief! Here! Take it already! Hop! You already got some. You already got some. You, it seems, also already got some. Damn, they all look the same! Share it yourselves! Oh, I’ll show you! Oh, darn you! [Tigers growling] Ti-ti! Ti-ti! Ti-ti! [Tigers growling] Captain, do you have a pitchfork? No. Give me the fire shovel. Please. The-e-ere it is. On the wall by the cages. – By the cages?!
– Yes. Thank you. [Tigers growling] Oh, here it is! [Humming:]
Na-ni-na na-ni-na-ni… [Humming:]
Na-ni-na na-ni-na-ni Carefully. Good. Alley-oop! Alley-hop! [mysterious events
take place on the deck] [Monkey squeals] [Monkey squeals] What mischief is this? Who is playing pranks on the ship, eh?! I have an inkling. But Can it be that you have someone
specific in mind? I can’t be suspicious of anyone, just …thinking based on character. Oh, you think that she is capable of that? Nut. Washer. I have a bolt! Hey, give it here. And we also have a nut. What a lunch! Buffet-lady! Get out! Oh! Well well! Well!
Striped devils, walking everywhere! Here! [Tigers growling]
Oh! Here! Why must I have to suffer like this,
walking past you all day!? Here! – What do you have for the second
course, at least? – Hot dogs. Why are you talking about
this one in the plural? Oh! Comrades, eat the borscht. – The borscht is so good today.
– The borscht today is inedible! It contains nuts, bolts …and other hardware. Call the cook! – Watch.
– That’s not a watch! What’s so funny here?! Comrades, this is my chronometer. Captain, what if this is not her fault? Then whose fault is it?
Whose? You don’t understand anything! Be quiet. I can now do whatever I want with you. If I want I can flick you in the nose. If I want, I can make your head spin. Eh! Order of the sea! There! [Monkey squealing] [Monkey squealing] Marishka, did you take the mop? I wasn’t even planning on it! I just turned away for a second. Why are you standing here? I was cleaning your room. Am I not supposed to?! – Excuse me.
– Please. Didn’t even say thank you. Hm! Very kind! Now that’s a cleaning! – Well, thanks!
– What what?! What’s happening here, huh? I didn’t want to complain. – Bless you.
– Thank you. But I have no more patience. It’s either me or her! Comrades! Comrades, I am not a lecturer, of course. It’s ok! We understand. I’m a tamer. Comrades! It’s humid.
It’s humid here. Comrade,
stop smoking! Open the porthole! They’re already open. No one is smoking here. Thank you. Comrades! Dear comrades… …sailors! Sh-h-h! Be quiet you! I was, well, ….asked to have a chat with you. So to speak, give you
information about tigers. Comrade tamer,
can you tame a mouse? There are mice in the pantry.
It’s scary to go in there. A mouse?! A mouse, well, so to speak, no. I can’t tame a mouse. You see,
comrades, a mouse – that’s… …a small predator. But I work with large, horned,
that is… what’s it called predators: lions, tigers. How did you train yourself to be so brave? Bravery?! – Yes.
– Well, I, …it was from childhood. Here I drew…sketched a tiger for you. Well, of course, as well as I could
in… what’s it called, cross-section. Here, take a look. O-o-o! – On three legs. – Thee-pawed?!
– No, the fourth one’s over there. Comrades, …A tiger mostly consists… …of three parts. The front part. The head. And the back part. And this, comrades, …is the tail. Can you see? The central part contains the chuck, chuck. Sirloin. Breast. Rump. Then comes the leg. And, of course, Tripe, liver, udder. Where? It’s here I see. So to speak, simpler …as the lay people say, unscientifically – haunches Haunches, comrades. And what does it eat? – Eat?! – Yes.
– Just a second, I’ll answer in a second. I read, that it eats human victims. What about it?! Very well, …that may very well be true. Judge for yourselves, comrades. What should he eat,
when he’s out of horse meat, …beef, and fish oil? So he eats people. But that happens when he has
run out of other food. How are you not scared of them? They’re tamed. There, believe it or not comrades, …tamed by me personally. [Clapping] A tiger leads a very,
a very very… …predatory existence. Excuse me. What happened, uncle? I am no longer your uncle. Now I see who is pulling all
those pranks on the ship. – Uncle, I didn’t do anything!
– You didn’t do anything?! I’m not talking with you,
I’m talking with my uncle. – I am no longer your uncle!
– And I didn’t do anything! And who made a complete mess
in Oleg Petrovich’s cabin?! – Also not you?!
– Not me! – Then who!? Tell me who, who!
– I don’t know! Watch out! Let go!
Let go, darn it! There’s the “bonus” from the company! Immediately catch it and drown it! A monkey on a ship is scarier than dynamite. Where’s the tamer? Comrade tamer, please come here. Comrade tamer, catch it. – What?
– The macaque! I don’t work with monkeys. You can give me a tiger,
a lion, a what’s it called, leopard. If it came to it,
I can take on a crocodile, …but not a macaque. Too bad! Too bad! Well, comrades, let’s catch it
in an organized way. Use a system, half the crew… …goes with the first mate to starboard. I am going to port. – Open two hatches!
– Yes, sir! This way, strategically… …it will undoubtedly
go through the hatch to the hold. Botswain and cook,
get ready in the hold with a tarp. And as soon as the macaque falls through the hatch onto the bales in the hold, …you’ll grab it. Got it?! – Everyone clear?
– Clear! – Let’s go! There it is! Look, in my uniform. Catch it!
Catch it, catch it! Grab it! Grab it! There it is! There!
Here! Here! Ah! Caught it! Caught it! Hey, that’s it! We already caught it! Now it won’t escape. Now it won’t run around! Quiet! Sit quietly! When the captain comes – he’ll show you,
how to sprinkle nuts and bolts into the borscht. A-a-a! What did we catch here then?! It’s moving. Open it! – Carefully, carefully!
– Carefully, you! Well, carefully! Captain, is that you!? A-a-a! There you are! A gift from the company. Do you know, that we were
ordered to drown you?! What should I do with you, buddy?! [Knock on the door] Sit quietly! Come in. Oleg Petrovich, …I keep thinking about that darn macaque. – Where should we search for it?
– You don’t need to search for it any more! I …threw it overboard.
– Really? – Yes! According to your orders. You are a very steely person. I probably wouldn’t have been able to do it. What’s that? That’s a broken mirror. It looked like I had some sort of strange, …strange facial expression, and didn’t shave So, …I came to talk to you about your report. Now, when it’s been shown without a doubt …that the pranks on board weren’t pulled by Marianna. So?! I’m not apologizing to her! And why not? She tries very hard to be good. I will not apologize!
Never! – This is not right, in pedagogical terms.
– I have my own principles. Not one woman will hear it from me. If you really want to know, she’s
worse than the monkey to me. Sorry! Please. Unfeeling log! Eh-h-h,
I’ll take revenge on that guy! So, I repeat:
In order for them not to find you, …the door always has to remain locked. You will only open it for me,
when I knock three times. One, two, three. On three, on three. Did you understand me?! Well, watch me again. Here,
I run up, knock – one, two, three. When I run up, open the latch! And you get a piece of sugar. One, two, three – try it! Good job! Marishka,
go to the pantry, we need pepper. – And the mouse?!
– Come on, come on! Get going! Motya, be a good friend,
go to the pantry for some pepper. Go yourself. Don’t be afraid. There’s no mouse there – I took care of it. No, there is! I saw it myself. Motya dear, please go. In general,
I don’t really like mice either. But I’d do anything for you! As you enter – it’s on the left shelf.
A yellow can. The light switch is on the left. Well! A-a-a-a!!! – Oh!
– A-a-a! – Oh-oh-oh! What’s going on? Everything is fine. Where did the mouse traps come from? I put them there. Only I put them
there to trap mice, not Motya. Oh, thank you, Motya.
And for your bravery I will give you a kiss. I sent a radiogram, …So you can be reinstated
to your rank of captain. – What do you think about that?
– I feel very negative about that. Excuse me, what did you say? Watch out! Animal tracks! Tracks! Maybe these aren’t tiger tracks? Then who’s?! Human?! Well, maybe it’s Don’t pretend you don’t know! Who allowed you to let the tigers
out at night, huh? Why?
Let him explain why. Yes, comrade sailors, I do that. Every night. The tigers need to walk
around to not get rickets. So I set them loose at night. I have insomnia anyway. -That’s all.
– All?! That’s not all! If you let them out one more time, …I’ll put you in the box where
we hold out anchor chains! Give the tamer some pills,
so he can sleep at night. And you, Oleg Petrovich, give a stern warning, with a note in his permanent record. There are tigers out on the boat!
Made it into some kind of jungle! Captain, …I’m ready to take the punishment. Please, put me under arrest. But make sure it’s
until we reach Odessa. Where do I go? What do you mean, Vasiliy Vasilievich?! When will you learn manners! Let me wipe your lips. Don’t argue,
my dirty little one. Take the spoon, take the spoon. Ah, with your hands. There. Like that. Good job! Now carefully. Otherwise you’ll eat like a pig. Now I’ll make him dance! What, can’t you count to two?! That was one knock – strangers. To sleep with you, sleep. [Tamer snoring] Aha. [Tamer snoring] [Tamer snoring] Ah! So… It’s starting! Five, six, seven, eight, nine. Ten. Everything is in order! How strange! [Mysterious footprints
continue to appear] [Three sailors refused to come out, they
said they saw a tiger who laughed like a human] Hm-m-m! Comrade buffet-lady, please take
the vertical position. A-a-a! Oh! I didn’t expect that, even from a woman. Keep your distance. That’s not me, it’s the rocking. Tell me, why did you do that? Because I hate you. Knight! [Laughing] You can throw me overboard
– like the monkey. You’re capable of it! Oh, sea monster!
Let me go! Ai! Marishka,
time for your punishment labor. Captain, …we’re the delegation from the crew. Regarding the buffet-lady.
We want to post her bail. – Never!
– She’s just happy-go-lucky. Why should she be hung on
he yardarm for that?! Remove the arrested from your mind. A-a-a! – Serving your sentence?!
– None of your business! And because of you I could
have inadvertently suffered. “Will I fall, pierced by an arrow?” “Or will it pass me by?” “Like a passing vision”. How’s the soup base? Does it yield forty percent? What a person! An animal tamer,
but even understands cooking. Teaching you is the same as not teaching you. Who is in charge of the distribution? – Oleg Petrovich.
– A serious comrade. The captain is a softy compared to him. But he was the captain. On this vessel. And then he got demoted. For what? Was there an audit? For a female passenger. He fell head-over-heels in love,
and she …toyed with him. She was a pretty rascal.
An artist by profession. And so, we approach the docks. And she rushes to him onto the bridge. And says: “Well, this and that. This was all a mistake,
a misunderstanding on both ends. I forgot to tell you that I’m married.” Oleg Petrovich stands there completely shocked,
but the ship is going full-steam ahead. So we smashed hull-first
into the dock at full speed. And his captaincy ended. Yeah, it turns out
the guy suffered for love. What does this have to do with love? Maybe it was nothing but a passing interest. What did you do, you sinister…! A-a-a! It’s boiling! Well, tell me, what are
you good for?! Nothing but trouble! Marishka, …I brought lunch. Bring it back, I am
declaring a hunger strike. I demand that the first mate come here. Before he comes – I won’t eat anything! OK. Knysh, Knysh, …what is the compote with today? – With peaches.
– Well, ok, give me the compote. And regarding everything
else – hunger strike! A-a-a-a! Oh, Mommy, help!
A-a-a! Found me, little devil! And why do you
keep following me?! Why did you call me? I want to ask forgiveness
for absolutely everything. I always knew that you
are a nonsensical, …mindless,
good-for-nothing young lady. But today I understood
that you are prepared… …prepared to demean yourself
just to be let out of here. And is that all you understood? Oh you, …Prophetic Oleg! Oh! Sorry. Let me feed you, feed you… You’ll grow big, like a tiger,
and go maul him, that fool.!.. …since he doesn’t understand,
that I love him!.. …and am ruining my relationship
with him myself! Oh how foolish you are, friend!.. And I, it seems, am even more foolish. Close the door behind me! You hear?! Oleg Petrovich, may I come in? No no, keep lying down. I haven’t come to you as
a superior, just as a man. I am constantly thinking about Marianna. Am I too stern with her? Of course, she had a hard childhood. Hard, mostly, for her parents. I agree, I agree: it’s bad!
Very bad, that she… …that she hasn’t found
her place in life, but!.. What does the great Pestalozzi say?
Remember I read you excerpts? “Circumstances teach a person.” Work! That’s what will save Marianna. That same noble work,
that turned monkeys into humans. What’s this?! What?! Huh?! Oh! [To a harmonica]
One-two-three! One-two-three!.. Zhuk! Please demonstrate! [To a harmonica]
One-two-three! One-two-three!.. Look!.. Ha-ha!.. Marishka is doing
something weird again! Look at that! You’re wrong!
Can’t buy it!… Look ou-u-ut! I’ll be damned! Tiger-r-rs! Hmmm… Hm! Strange things are
happening on board. Hand… Take five to the right. Oleg Petrovich,
I am probably ill. – What happened? – I was just
in your cabin and I imagined… – What did you imagine?
– Oh, nothing, just a trifle! For the past while I just
keep imagining things. [Tigers roaring] Oleg Petrovich! – Mommy-y-y! Get away! Run to the radio controller,
tell him to alert the crew and the tamer. Too late! We’re surrounded! Escape through the porthole. [Whispering]:
Oleg Petrovich… Hey there! That’s some rough navigating! The old man is angry.
He’s become an animal. I didn’t understand! Repeat! – Orlov, run, sound the alert!
– I’m far away! Lower us! Mommy-y-y! Comrades, give me something to eat!
I am calling off the hunger strike! You forgot about me!
Of course, it’s nice where you are! Where are you climbing? Get out of the stove! Oh, guys! Oh! Everyone – everyone! I repeat:
the animals have escaped from the cages! Hold it, hold it!
I haven’t finished announcing. – Hold it, don’t let it through!
– Fall on the door! Fall on the door! Spit out the cigarette,
it’s making it harder. I’m trained not to throw
things on deck. Well! Spit out already! Well?! He’s wriggling through! Comrade Shuleykin, herd
the animals back into the cages! [Singing]:
Left and right… Ptoeey! Hold, hold!
I haven’t finished the announcement! Oh, guys!
He has saliva dripping from his fangs! I’m burning! Spit, spit!
Pick up the cigarette! Pick it up! – Spit, I order you!
– Ptooey! My mouth is dry!
I don’t have spit! – Oh, I can’t!
– Where are you going?! Comrades, he’s coming through! Where are you going?! Where did you lead it!
Lead it back! Run! Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-aaaa! Comrades, please,
please don’t chew the ladder! Don’t you understand?!
I’ll fall into the water! [Radio]: “Comrade tamer, immediately
return the animals to their cages!” [Radio]: “Comrade tamer, immediately
return the animals to their cages!” [Singing]: Left and right,
Two right stockings! Never come together,
Never make a pair! What am I to do? What do I do?! How can I love Marusia?! What am I to do? What do I do?!
How do I love Marusia?! Coachman, don’t rush
the horses… Who is it? [Noise]
A-a-a! [Radio]: “Captain,
reporting the situation: …The tigers have left the radio booth,
there are no human victims, …Awaiting your orders.
I can’t see anything from here”. [Radio]: “Everyone – everyone! From Port Brigid
they are sending, right from the circus,… …a helicopter with a local tamer
to help our tamer. Captain’s orders:
Do not hit the tigers with anything heavy. …And do not ruin their fur.
This is government cargo… …and must be delivered
in perfect condition…” – Rrrr!
– Sorry. May you choke! Guys, look out! – Here he is! Guys!
– Finally! – Comrade tamer, save us!
– Let the tamer through! -That’s not necessary!
– Yes, comrades, let him through! Don’t do it! Don’t do it! A-a-a! Open! Open, I say! Lowly animal! You don’t know what
a boatswain is capable of yet. You can’t just eat me
without horseradish! Aleksey Stepanovich,
you didn’t forget to lock the door, right? Comrade tamer, why are you here? Why? The same reason as you –
I don’t want to become a steak. Come here! – These are your animals, right?!
– Mine. I see! Well then, not mine! What are you doing?!
Are you crazy?! A-a-a! Go tame them! Go! Let me go! Open up!
You can’t do that! That’s cruel! Don’t, kitty! A-a-a! That tickles! A-a-a! Get away! Get away,
striped devils! Get away! A-m-m-m! Uncle, what happened?! Oh! We’re sinking, right?! Let me out!
I won’t do it anymore! What are you doing?!
Put it back! Who let you do that!
Don’t, don’t! Foo! Get away! Alley oop! Don’t,
stop misbehaving! Get away!
I’m asking you nicely, get away! Get the water away, darn it! A-a-a! Enough! A-a-a! [Monkey squealing] Why isn’t the other shift here yet? Are they playing
“Kozel” or something?! So you’re saying you lived on
Deribasov street, …eh, comrade tamer. Full steam ahead! Full steam back! It’s coming! Hurray-y-y! Hurray-y-y! Hurray-y-y-y-!!! I am the world-renowned… …animal trainer Chocolani. Where is the tiger? I will tame it! Ola-la-le! Ha! Ha! Get down on the deck… …and lead the animals into the cages. No! It’s impossible to tame them! Wild tiger! You need to bang-bang!
A gun, artillery! Full steam ahead! Schneller, schneller!
(faster, faster). We’ll pay cash! Schneller! (faster). – You are a coward!
– I’m not a coward, but I’m afraid! Don’t, Tiger! Let go!
I’ll file a complaint! You’re not a tiger – you’re a pig! Fly, fly!
Schneller! (Faster). Where are you going!
Where are you going! Tamer! Phony! Uncle, what happened? Guys! Oh, good. Hurray for freedom! Hey, helicopter! Hey-y-y-y! Take me for a ride! Oh! Run! Run, Marishka! A female… Marishka is on deck! Save her! Save her! I’m coming! A-a-a-a! A-a-a-a! You’re my little stripey. Kitty. Kitty. Frr-frr! It turns out your not at all scary. – I don’t understand anything!
– And you never will! Immediately move away from the animal. – He’ll eat you alive!
– None of your business! – Le-e-eave!
– You leave! Commanding all the time. Don’t be sassy. My poor tiger. The first mate scratched you up. Marishechka,
hold the animal. I need to get to the deck. Climb out, climb out.
I’ll hold him. Oh, sit down, sit down. Run, before they get their wits back. I won’t even think about it! Hey, don’t you dare! Oi-oi-oi! Hold the cage!
I’m sliding! It’s deep there!
Somebody save me! Reef straight ahead! Someone get to the wheel. Faster! Grab the cage! Help me,
Grab the cage! It’s deep there!
I don’t know how to swim! What’s happening!? I’ll bandage your paw
and you’ll feel much better. You’re my dear. Don’t worry –
he won’t touch you anymore. No. And why are you just laying there? Look how shaggy you are. What’s that on your head?! Such styles aren’t in fashion anymore. Let me comb your hair. Comrade buffet-lady, …what are you doing? A hairdo “I’m my daddy’s little fool”. Ask the first mate for a headscarf. You’ll tie it on during working hours. Next! And what about you, big guy, will you listen to me now? Let’s see the first mate even
try to growl at me now. Leave the deck immediately. You’ll go with me on punishment work,
you’ll peel potatoes. Listen, Marishka, …For God’s sake, try to get
them into the cages. I need to feed the crew. Serves you right! Now you’re all under arrest. There. Your captain and your first mate. And I’m your boss. Marisha, …why aren’t they touching you? Don’t you understand?!
They like me. Marishenka, I beg you,
get them into the cages. Odessa is on the horizon!
Let the first mate ask. Oleg Petrovich, for God’s sake,
please, you ask. Comrade buffet-lady! Comrade buffet-lady, …get the animals into
their cages immediately. When you ask,
you say please. For me,
for me, please. Please,
get the animals into the cages. Go home!
March into your cages! Oh yeah?! Yeah?! Won’t listen?!
Get into your cages! There! There! Hey, ginger team! What, snarling?
Snarling? Get going! – Marin, stop!
– Forget you! Here, Here. Well, eat. Here! Well, well! Look out! Oi! A-a-a-a! I’m drowning!!! I’m drowning!!! Guys, help me!!! I’m drowning!!! – Thank you.
– Person overboard! Lower the left anchor! That’s precision! One second. – They’re swimming beautifully!
– Who? That group in the striped swimsuits. Sergunchik, follow me! Are you crazy? Where are you going?! And where did you get to, you hoodlum?
Get off the roof! That’s not our car!
Get off! Get off, I tell you! What are you staring at?! Mommy, …you always appear
exotic in my dreams. What am I going to do? To me! To me! Faster! Faster! Home! Guys, let’s go.
Good job! To the ship, to the ship.
Lunch time. Well, let’s go, let’s go. Let’s swim. Oh! Kitty! The last ones are swimming in. – Look, look! Marishka is holding on to their tails.
– Quiet you! – She’s not holding anyone’s tail,
– No, she’s holding a tail, a tail! Five, six, seven. Move away from the side! Drag the last cage to the corridor exit! Quickly! Sidorenko, get ready! Slam the door shut after the last animal! Lock them in the cage! Drag it back! Oh, uncle! See, I was useful!
Right? – Raise the left anchor!
– What’s wrong, Marianna?! Oleg Petrovich, please,
bring her to the medical unit. Raise the left anchor! One. Two. Three. Four. – Five.
– I’m sorry, you also counted me. That’s because I’ll have you sitting
there until we dock, you crook. What, are you going to present him as a lion?
A lion was in this cage. The lion is in the tamer’s cabin! Open it! – You go! Be brave!
– Don’t shove! – Come on!
– Open it! – Come on, come on!
– He’s sleeping. Aha. We’ll go in, and then he’ll… – He ate the Luminal.
He’s out for the count, poor guy. – Quiet you! You’ll wake him up and it’ll be worse for us. – Tie him up, tie him up!
– Quietly! – Be quiet! Calmly! Calmly! He’s pretending, the sod!
He’s waiting for us to come closer. – Quiet. – Let’s go. – Valya, try to tie some kind of muzzle on him. – You try it.
– See, he’s listening carefully! – Quiet! Don’t breathe on him.
He might sense it. – Oh, comrades! Guys, I have to change shoulders. – Quiet! Bear with it. Shhhh!.. – Quiet!
– Shhhh!.. Shhh!. Drop the weapon! Be a good person! O-oi-u! O-oi-y! Y-y-y! Freeze. Why are you moving? Get up! – Quiet! – This is occupied!
– Quiet you! It’s occupied, occupied! Comrade sailors,
what are you doing?! – What about me?! – Come out already,
tamer. – So, brother, you haven’t turned into an animal yet? You won’t bite? – Be brave! – Calmly.
– Step bravely! – Calmly. – Don’t step on the udder – he’ll wake up.
– Calmly. Oh, how I’m glad,
that you’re already better. Maybe you’re capable of walking
by yourself, huh? No one asked you to carry me
around the whole ship! – Goodbye, captain.
– Happy sailing. – Don’t forget!
– Happy sailing, friends. Goodbye. – Goodbye.
– Goodbye, captain. Well, it’s said to part, isn’t it? It’s not too heavy for you? Well then,
let’s go. Just don’t lose your pants. Yeah!.. And then she sat
by the cages and bawled. And the whole crew, …even the tigers,… …had tears this big. Believe it or not. What a sad story! So, Marianna became
a tiger tamer, yeah? No, she didn’t become a tamer. But she did find her calling after all. Can it be that such a deep love
didn’t go anywhere? I would have found him, I would
have definitely found him. Let’s go. There, look. Can you see? Excuse me, Marianna Andreevna,
they’re asking for you backstage. – An actor is sick. Please.
– Alright. Go home, wash the dishes,
make dinner, and wait for me. Will you be back soon? A doctor, quickly! Faster, faster. A doctor. – Let the doctor through. Don’t crowd,
comrades. – Listen, how did he get out? – They say he bit off the lock.
– What lock? – What happened. – Marianna Andreevna,
Vaska beat up Achilles. Well, patient, what’s the problem?
Next time you’ll think twice about fighting. Why did you bite Vaska’s tail, huh? And you got some back, too. I’ll also become someone
important one day. I’ll go to trade school
in the fall. Really, I’ll go. The patient needs
surgery in a clinic. Muzzle! You see?
I told you the truth. Believe it or not. There. The role of Marianna is played by
the tiger tamer… …Margarita Nazarova. Director-tamer
Konstantin Konstantinovich. The End

100 Replies to “ПОЛОСАТЫЙ РЕЙС (советский фильм комедия)”

  1. Классная тачка в самом конце фильма. Да и сам фильм хорош, жизненный и с юмором.

  2. БлагоДарю!!!
    Вспомнилось прошлое, и детство на море Азовском (без тигров, правда, но с жутким наводнением)
    …и юность вспомнилась… 🙁 Ностальгия, "карочЭ" 😉
    С ув. к единомышленникам,
    Р.А., старый травник, биолог

  3. А, что ты наделала-злыдня!! Ну, скажи, какая польза от тебя в этой жизни!! Вспоминаю свое детство/советское, сплошная ностальгия и сердце болит.

  4. Леонов чудо актёр незаменимый и Назарова бесподобно красавица

  5. раньше голливуд смотрел наши фильмы, теперь мы голливуд печально.

  6. хороший подбор актеров. и история создания фильма

  7. За Назарову обидно,такая укротителница а умерла в нищете.

  8. обезъяна в фильме ну вылитая моя теща такая же милая непосредственная

  9. Огромное спасибо создателям, фильм шедевр. Только сейчас мы в этом убеждаемся каждый раз, есть с чем сравнить.
    Когда мне плохо смотрю эти старые советские комедии, и снова жить хочется.
    Привет из Барселоны

  10. Сколько раз смотрела этот фильм, но только сейчас заметила, что девушка, которой Леонов рассказывает историю это Алиса Френдлих 😁

  11. Интересно от куда везли наших уссурийских тигров

  12. Oh my! I so loved this movie as a kid! It's one of my favourite. 😍 Thank you so much for uploading!!!

  13. Так вот откуда эта фраза про купальники 😁😁😁

  14. сколько души, нравственности, отзывчивости, современная молодежь- это погибшее поколение не читают книг, не могут решать кроссворды, ПОКОЛЕНИЕ вырождается

  15. Фильм моего счастливого детства!!! СССР была Великая держава!!! Такой фильм повторить невозможно!¡ Какая жизнь,какие люди¡! Сколько лет прошло, а как приятно смотреть!!!

  16. Чистая душа доброй советской страны рабочих и крестьян в каждом кадре фильма

  17. Макаки умеют только воровать бумажник и на деньги сок в автомате с купюроприемником покупать, пакет они рвут и лужу слизывают с земли, задвижки они открывать не умеют, еще они умеют только открывать водопровод – но не закрывать

  18. много вы видели актеров , которые держали тигра за хвост?

  19. Это мой самый любимый фильм и мне понравилой один исполнитель был голый без трусов😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😅😅😅😅😅😅😅🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂🤣 и кстати смех продлевает жизнь такшто все смейтись

  20. Огромное спасибо!!!Посмотрела с большим удовольствием фильм любимый с детства! Необыкновенно талантливый , творческий сценарий! Професионализм, смелость актеров! Огромнейшая работа дрессировщиков! Всё Супер!!! На высоком уровне!!! Браво!!!

  21. Вот это я понимаю моя молодость! А сечас таких времён как при СССР нету! Мне 80 лет и я много помню фильмов из своей молодости! Сколько хорошего было

  22. па до окном знакомый голос слышытца,да пают всю ночку журавли.

  23. там за окнами бурей полными, моряка родимый дом.

  24. ой ви ночи, матрозские ночи, только горы да мори вакрук.

  25. Я смотрел премьеру этого фильма в к/т им . Маяковского в Новосибирске. Мне тогда было 10 лет. Фильм для того времени был совершенно необычным – это было нечто выдающееся

  26. Фильм хорош, воспитывает отношение к животным. Иначе бу, всех тигров растащили на диванных котов!

  27. Здравствуйте, много, раз!!смотрела,ещё, раз,посмотрю!!смешной,филим,укратитильница!!тигров,Ирина, бушуева

  28. Супер- пупер просто слов нет. Великий СССР только там могли снимать такие фильмы. СУПЕР и миллиард лайков🤣🤣🤣👍👍👍💋💋💋

  29. Случайно включила во время уборки… И не смогла оторваться, досмотрела до конца. Хотя наизусть знаю и могу цитировать бесконечно. Вот это я понимаю, сила искусства! Только вот уборку на завтра отложила…

  30. Фильм "земля до начала времён" – стандарт моего детства.
    Фильм "звездный десант" – классика моего детства.
    А "полосатый рейс" – легенда моего детства 😍

  31. капитан не знает английского языка. хорошенькое дело.

  32. Дизлайки ставят те кто любит гмо и фантики, а я и сейчас согласен отстоять двух часовую очередь
    за натур/продуктом имея в руках валюту подкреплённую золотом……..
    Однако СССР ЖИВ ПО СЕЙ ДЕНЬ!!!
    НО об этом знают лишь те у кого голова на месте…..

  33. это разбитое зеркало! Мне показалось, что у меня странное выражение лица и я не брит))

  34. Один из моих любимых фильмов!!! А Маргариточка Назарова – просто прелесть, а не женщина!!!

  35. 25:30 Хорошо, что капитана сразу не утопили, прямо в брезенте.

  36. Наши старые фильмы не стареют, и с каждый годом становятся все лучше. Царство небесное всем ушедшим актерам . Помним и любим!

  37. Лол обезьяна пила вино и стала пяной😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

  38. И человек мылся когда жывотные были на свабоде а он мылся потом выбежал голым😄😆😄😆😄😆

  39. Присоединяюсь ко всем положительным отзывам, а от себя хочу добавить, что такому чувству юмора были способны только очень умные люди

  40. Дцатый раз смотрю! Великолепно! Кажется, что всё так легко снято! Ни одного лишнего эпизода,всё очень насыщенно и к месту. Как бы играючи снято. А ведь сколько труда приложено! Шедевр на века. Спасибо всем!

  41. Наши любимые добрейшие картины.мы чувствуем всем сердцем (при просмотре фильма) огорчения,радость:простата;чистая дружественная атмосфера без вражды и предательства,мордабоя.советские родные и близкие картины-это посетить в памяти свою маму,папу…мы вместе смотрели эти дорогие фильмы.советские фильмы-это наш воздух нашего дыхания,незабываемой памяти.

  42. " Дайте укротителю снотворное!" ( а заодно и тем кто ставит дизлайки этому замечательному фильму)

  43. Боже правый! Весь фильм так и пронизан каким-то светом, добром, чем-то очень родным и давно прошедшим……………….

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